PSA_140

FIVE SENSES
_sight_
1) find a pair of sunglasses with large lenses
2) pop out the lenses and replace them with 2 halogen lights facing inward
3) put on the sunglasses
4) turn on the lights
5) say "lalalalalala... " until white turns to black
_sound_
1) prioritize all objects in the room by the volume of the sound that results from dropping each onto a linoleum floor
2) use a "loop-sampling" recorder to record the quietest item being dropped
3) record the next quietest item's drop sound, overlayed onto the recording of the first dropped item
4) continue overlaying drop-sound over drop-sound, progressing from the quietest to the loudest
5) listen to the resulting cacophony over and over, with INTENSE attention
6) stop the playback
7) drop the lightest object onto the linoleum floor over and over, with INTENSE attention
8) play the cacophonous recording over and over until you BELEIVE you can hear the quietest object fall
_touch_
1) cover sandpaper with glue
2) cover the glue with fluffy cotton
3) let dry
4)psychotically pet the surface while saying "soft pretty bunny" over and over
5) continue process until you scrape bone
6) explain all this in the emergency room
_smell_
1) purchase some fish-tank air tubes plus a "Y" adapter to split air flow
2) purchase medical tape
3) purchase $20 worth of Taco Bell products
4) connect and seal the split ends of the tube into your nostrils with tape
5) connect and seal the other end of the tube into your anus

6) eat all the Taco Bell products
7) ENJOY! 
_taste_
1) go to a grocery store with your friends
2) have a contest to see who can discretely taste the greatest diversity of flavors before getting arrested
3) use your only phone-call to describe the taste in your mouth to someone who cares